Now the countdown can begin.... NOT!!!

Back at 20 something weeks I kept looking forward to reaching the 30 week mark. I figured instead of counting down starting at 20 weeks when I reached half way I would wait until I could count down from 10 weeks... At 30 weeks I told myself 10 weeks is still too far away, I'll wait until I make it to 35 weeks and count down from 5 weeks. Of course, the 35 week mark came and I told myself... I still have over a month to go so I'll wait until 36 weeks when I only have a month left. At 36 weeks I thought 4 weeks was still quite a bit of time... I'll just wait until I have half a month left... 2 weeks shouldn't seem that long right? At 38 weeks last Friday I thought, well... thats still 14 more days... I'll wait until I have 10 days left and count down from there.

Well the day has come... I officially have 10 days left until my due date... can the countdown begin? NOPE! I don't know if I'm in denial or just saving myself from disappointment. If I start the countdown now, what happens when August 7th is here and I'm still pregnant? I'm so ready to get this over with but at the same time I keep putting off the reality that she is eventually going to come out of there. At 37 weeks I started thinking she could come out at anytime but then slowly told myself, don't worry... she probably won't come that early... so I figured that I'd wait until 38 weeks to start worrying about when I'm going to go into labor... I hit the 38 week mark last Friday and was a little concerned Saturday about going into labor when Daniel was out of town Sunday especially after having quite a few contractions since Friday night, but when I woke up Sunday morning I was still pregnant and figured who am I kidding... she isn't coming out of there anytime soon... I'll wait til 39 weeks to be paranoid... so in 3 days I'll be 39 weeks and will I at least allow myself to count down the last 7 days? Probably not...

I think my uterus is just playing games with me anyways... Friday night my contractions were like really bad cramps but they eventually went away overnight and when I woke up Saturday morning I didn't notice them until around lunch time. All day Saturday they kept getting stronger and I was noticing them more often... but of course, I went to sleep and woke up Sunday with nothing. I guess Sunday was it's day off because not too much happened... a few contractions in the afternoon but that was about it. Yesterday was back to the more consistant contractions that were getting more painful to where the pain was wrapping around from the lower part of my stomach all the way around through my lower back... but once again, I went to sleep and now I am awake again and nothing is happening. Just for all of that I'm not paying attention to the contractions anymore... so until I'm actually going into labor my body can just knock it off because it's just wasting its time!

Finally finished Kaylee's bathroom!!!

This is pretty much just a post full of pictures... we finally finished Kaylee's bathroom and after thinking I wouldn't like it when we first started, it actually turned out pretty good!

Looking into the bathroom from her bedroom...

Her bathroom closet full of bottles, toys and bathroom stuff... I've been putting a lot of stuff in here until I can figure out excatly where I want to put everything.

Her adorable little ladybug bathrobe :)
I found this wooden ladybug at Babies R Us when we were originally planning on doing all ladybug decorations.

The grasshopper painting was done on a ceiling tile!

Her cute little nightlight and bug painting that came all the way from Israel!

The design on the wall is a vinyl decal that I found on Etsy!

I'm so glad we finally got the bathroom finished... hopefully she will like it when she gets a little older... if not, she can redecorate it herself!

Excited!!!

It doesn't really make sense to me but I am actually excited about going into labor! Of course, I'm not excited about the pain that goes along with it but you hear of so many different birth stories... the ones where people's labor progresses quickly and the next thing they know they are holding their baby and then the ones where it's a slow process and it seems to drag on forever. I just wonder what mine will be... when will I realize what is happening... where will I be at... will I be one of those whose water breaks out in public like at the grocery store... will things progress quickly or will it take forever... will she come early/on time/or late... will I end up having to be induced...

All of these things are things that I sit and wonder about. It's like waiting for Christmas to open your present except there's no one I can bug to give me my present early!!! Even though it would be the most convenient option, I don't want to be induced early or go past my due date and end up having to be induced. I don't want Kaylee's birth to be planned or scheduled... I want it all to happen on it's own... this is one Christmas present(in August) that I'm willing to wait for!

angry baby

today daddy got to go to the weekly doctor visit with mommy for her once a week check up, that doesnt really tell us much of anything, but today was different. she has been moving around and getting into really uncomfortable spots and right before the doctor came in mandy had told me to feel where little kaylee was at and i felt some part of her body and she did not like the fact that i kept pushing wherever she kept moving to. when the lady came in to check her heart beat kaylee was so mad that her heart beat was way up and she tried to kick the little thing that they use for finding the heart beat, and it was a hard kick, and loud to. needless to say she will let me have it as soon as she comes out. . i guarantee. but i just hope she comes out soon cause i really want to see her little face.....

Randomness of the 37th week...

It's official... all of my clothes are now too tight! Even the maternity shirts are having a hard time covering up my stomach. I feel huge... and even that is an understatement. The term 'seacow' comes to mind...
But even that picture doesn't accurately represent how I feel because in a way that thing looks kinda cute. For these last few weeks I'm pretty much in survival mode... which means staying inside the house as much as possible because getting out of my comfy sweatpants and getting dressed is just too hard! These past few days I've had random bursts of energy. Sunday I decided to get outside and mow the yard( with a riding lawnmower, not our pushmower) and then Daniel and I worked on filling the ditch out front in with dirt and spreading fertilizer and grass seed. It was nice to get out and get stuff done but by the end of the day I was miserable! My legs were so swollen that I couldn't get my jeans off! Needless to say yesterday all I did was sit on the couch and try to recover from the weekend.

This morning I woke up at 4:30am and could not go back to sleep. After laying in bed until 5:00 I gave up on going back to sleep and decided to get out of bed and have some strawberries for breakfast. I don't know why but I have been craving strawberries for the past few weeks. I actually went out today and bought another carton of them which makes my 3rd carton within the past week! After Daniel left for work I thought about getting back in bed because I felt physically tired but I still wasn't sleepy... the only thing I wanted to do was clean. So I managed to get our bathroom clean and did some laundry before getting back in bed and watching cartoons before going back to sleep.

I feel like I really need to get the house cleaned up and finish up a few things around the house so that I can honestly say I'm ready for Kaylee to be here. I'm ready to have her right now but at the same time I feel like I need to get things done before wishing she was here. As of today I only have 17 days left until my due date and I feel like after Friday I am going to be paranoid about her coming at anytime. Friday I'll be 38 weeks and there's just something about only having 2 weeks left that freaks me out! So it's back to cleaning for the rest of the day... I feel like I need to take advantage of the energy while I have it!

But first I'll do this survey thing...

How far along? 37 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain/loss: 33 pounds gained... still blaming it on the swelling!

Maternity clothes? Still wearing the same things that I mentioned in the last survey... but my favorite thing to wear is a t-shirt and my Victoria's Secret sweatpants... they are so comfortable!

Stretchmarks? The ones on my stomach are getting worse... they have moved up my stomach a little more and they still look terrible.

Sleep: I've actually slept a little better here lately...not sure why... but I'm not going to complain! The one bad thing about sleeping is when I get up every morning I dread having to move because my hips always pop all the way across at one time and it's the most uncomfortable feeling ever!

Best moment this week: I don't really know... it's only Tuesday...

Movement: I've noticed she isn't as constantly active anymore... but when she does move around she makes up for it... I wish I could catch my stomach moving around on video because it's actually pretty funny looking.

Food cravings: Like I said earlier...for some reason Strawberries!

Labor signs: Random contractions and sometimes a lot of pressure like she is pushing down... but I'm not getting my hopes up...

Belly button in or out? Still in...barely... but when she is in the center of my stomach(which hardly ever happens because for some reason she loves my right side) it's pretty much flat.

What I miss: NOT being pregnant! lol

What I'm looking forward to: NOT being pregnant...

Weekly wisdom: I've reassured myself that I never want to be pregnant again (are you noticing the trend here?)

Milestones: I reached full term last Friday!

The emotional rollercoaster...

I think I need to be checked into a mental institution... seriously... keeping up with my changing feelings is exhausting! Let me try to explain... one second I'm sitting on the couch feeling 'okay'... like I need to get stuff done around the house, excited about Kaylee coming soon and just trying to be productive... 5 seconds later I'm sitting on the couch thinking what have I done... I mean, there's a baby in there and it's going to have to come out... but I really don't want to have to go through all that pain... is it too late to change my mind??? At this point I usually start to panic but not to worry... a few minutes later... 'oh my gosh will this baby ever come out... everything hurts... I'm miserable... I don't care how bad labor pain is, I want her out of me!' So I pretty much have 3 moods: 1. excited 2. scared 3. miserable

And then there are the in between moods... like when I have contractions... I don't want to get excited because I figure it's not really labor so instead of being excited I'm irritated (note to uterus: either get the show on the road or stop making me get my hopes up). I also have those moments when I'm a emotional wreck... like tonight after walking around the mall we got back out to the car and I busted into tears. I manage to just hold it in most of the time but every now and then being constantly miserable just gets to me. Plus the fact that we go to the mall and there's nothing that I want doesn't help. I walk through stores and see clothes I like but of course, I'm pregnant, there's no point in buying clothes... most people are still able to at least buy shoes but I can't even do that because no shoe fits anymore.

I'm glad I've managed to make it to 37 weeks but so afraid of going past 40 weeks because I really don't think I can keep from completely going off the deep end for that long. It's nice to know that she could pretty much come at any time after 37 weeks and I keep trying to remind myself that I could be complaining one day about being pregnant and be holding little Kaylee the next. So now... I wait...

This is starting out wayyy too early!

Today we bought Kaylee's first pair of shoes! Honestly, she really doesn't need them... and I'm not going to be the one fighting with her to try to keep them on her... but I guess occasionally I will try to put them on her since her daddy loves them! I have to admit... they are pretty cute!

daddy to be....

this is my first post from the very excited soon to be daddy of little kaylee ann rankin. for the past months i have got to feel her very painful kicks, her little hiccups, and her little butt and feet pressed up against mommys stomach. i think i kinda make her and mommy mad cause i push on her and she moves away and tries to run from me and runs out of places to hide cause i keep following her around. i cant wait till she gets here, but then again she will probably remember all that and make it very hard on me, but oh well its gonna be worth every little moment to get to hold her and see her smile. i know she is gonna be a little daddys girl and she is gonna have me wrapped around her little tiny fingers. i just cant wait to see the look on mommys face when her first word is daddy, ill probably cry like a little baby myself:) she also loves it when i talk to her or then again she might not because of the way she tries to punch me through mommys belly, but i just want little kaylee to know i cant wait for her to come out so her and i can play together, and take her for motorcycle rides and so on. mandy said a few months ago her first word will be, weee, but i think it will be daddy. but for now, kaylee i love you and hope god brings you into our little world safe and soon, and that you take it easy on mommy as well. hugs and kisses, daddy.

A whole lot of nothing...

I'm running out of things to talk about... I'm ready for Kaylee to be here so I can have cute pictures to post! This weekend Daniel and I worked on Kaylee's bathroom. I'm still not sure if I like the color(we did mint green on the top 3/4 of the wall and brown on the bottom 1/4). I'm hoping by the end of the week we will have the bathroom finished. I'm waiting on some things in the mail that I ordered on Etsy.com to go on the walls. I have been so miserable today with my arms and hands hurting/going numb that I had to try to get up and do something so I've managed to actually get some laundry done... now I've just got the rest of the house to clean :( It would be nice if I knew exactly what day little Kaylee would be here, that way I just wouldn't bother cleaning until a day or two before!

In other news... tomorrow will be exactly 1 month from my due date and Friday will be exactly 1 week until I'm considered 'full term'... honestly, it's all I can do to keep from breaking down right now and just saying 'I quit.' I have decided to give myself until August 1st... if I can manage to survive until then and am still pregnant, word of advice... you probably won't want to call me on that day! I think the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I've made it almost 36 weeks and each day I'm 1 day closer! Also knowing that after this, I will never be pregnant again helps a lot! I wish I was one of those people who enjoy being pregnant... that, however, is not the case! One of my biggest issues with being pregnant is the swelling... seriously...it's gross...
Sadly, my ankles and feet look much worse than the picture above... it pretty much looks like my calf, ankle and foot are all one body part... usually by mid-day I can't really bend my foot because the swelling is so bad. I haven't worn shoes in months... the only thing that fits are my Puma flip flops and even with those I have to put them on in the morning before my feet get too swollen. And to make things worse... there have been times that I have rested the heel of one foot on top of the other and after a couple of minutes it makes a huge indention in the swelling... we're talking the size of the Grand Canyon here... I'm starting to think my feet are filling up with Play Dough...and it's not cute!

And since there is nothing else to talk about... I figured I'd kill some time with this pregnancy survey!

How far along? 35.5 weeks... I remember back at 19 weeks I thought I'd never make it this far!

Total weight gain/loss: 30 pounds... yikes!!! I didn't start gaining much until around 28 weeks which is also when my swelling really started to get worse... so I'm going to blame a lot of it on water weight...and baby weight... gotta blame it on something right?

Maternity clothes? I have like 2 guys t-shirts that will sorta still fit... oh, and my one pair of AE jeans that still fit (although I have to use a hairtie around the button and they are starting to hurt my stomach when I sit down)... other than that, it's all maternity clothes... I like my maternity shirts but the pants I could live without... they always want to slide down!

Stretch marks? Of course! I have them on the sides of my stomach and the lower part of the front of my stomach... the ones on the front of my stomach are scary!

Sleep: Is becoming more of a chore everyday! It usually takes about 30 minutes to get comfortable and find a place to put my arms and hands so that they won't go numb and then I have only about 2 hours before I wake up running to the bathroom... I am actually starting to dread bedtime!

Best moment this week: Well it's only Tuesday and not much has happened this week... I think the best moment was getting a foot & hand massage from Daniel last night!

Movement: Apparently she is running out of room because there's not as much kicking... it's more of her just pushing and wiggling around in there.

Food cravings: The past few days I've been craving pizza and cheesecake with strawberries...yum!

Labor signs: I've had more and more contractions here lately...some are actually pretty painful... I better be making some kind of progress!

Belly button in or out? Still in...but barely!

What I miss: Being able to lay on my stomach, feel my arms and hands, having energy, being able to wear shoes and not running out of breath when I eat!

What I'm looking forward to: Holding little Kaylee for the first time, dressing her up in her cute little clothes and seeing if she ends up being a momma's girl or a daddy's girl.

Weekly wisdom: I've learned that if there's something I need to remember that's important I better write it down... the pregnancy brain is only getting worse!

Milestones: As of tomorrow only 1 month to go!

So I did a little shopping...

I think the nesting instinct is slowly kicking in... or at least some version of it. I still really don't have the energy to do anything and my pregnancy induced carpal tunnel is getting worse by the day which makes it even harder to do anything, but over the past 2 days I have been on somewhat of a shopping spree... it's the closest I can come to nesting. Along with all of the things I bought for Kaylee's bathroom, I've also bought several other things for her.

I have had the worst time trying to pick out a diaper bag that I like. I want something cute for her but I also wanted something I could use as a purse if I wanted to. I ended up with this bag... I plan on having Kaylee's initials monogrammed on it above the bow on the front.

Of course when your expecting your first baby and want to spend some money, where else is a better place to go than Babies R Us! I went in with a shopping list of things that I knew I needed to get for her before she comes home but got a little sidetracked... I saw the pink basket and thought it would be perfect to go beside her changing table for her dirty clothes. Of all the stuff I got I think my favorite (and most expensive) is the video monitor... I know this is something that we didn't absolutely have to have but I think it will be nice to have.

The last thing that I ordered was a "Woombie." I have heard some people mention how great these things are so I figured why not order one to try it. Supposedly it's a better alternative to swaddling with a blanket, especially for the stronger/more active babies which pretty much describes Kaylee. Hopefully this will help her sleep a little longer at night... the baby in this picture looks so comfortable!

Kaylee's Bathroom

One of the things on Daniel and I's 'To Do List' has been to clean, paint and decorate Kaylee's bathroom. After putting this off for the past 2 months (and for good reason...trust me...it's a MESS) we are finally going to get it done! Today I went out and got the paint and bought towels, decorations etc... we plan on working on this tomorrow and will hopefully have it finished! We had first decided on a ladybug theme but then I saw this rug and decided to do ladybugs, dragonflies and grasshoppers! Here's some pictures of the things I've bought so far:

Aren't these just the cutest little shower curtain hooks :)

Her little nightlight I think we will put this on the wall behind the toilet

Her cute little grasshopper painting

The paint I bought is a light mint green color... I feel like I'm terrible at picking out paint colors so I'm hoping this will turn out half way decent. After we get the bathroom finished I will try to get some pictures of it posted on here. I'm not sure how that will work though because the bathroom is so small. Her bathroom is the only one upstairs so it's also considered our guest bathroom. I'm trying to make it cute but not too much like a kid's bathroom just for the sake of people who come visit us... plus I don't think the decorations are going to really matter much to Kaylee anytime soon :)

This is what makes me happy...

Well... it's not the only thing that makes me happy but it's up there at the top of the list. For those of you who don't know what this is or have never had one... SHAME ON YOU!!!

Ahh... the Chocolate Molten cake from Chili's... I could eat one of these everyday for the rest of my life... seriously... everytime Daniel and I go out to eat at Chili's I am usually stuffed before I finish my supper but always find room for dessert! The only thing I don't like about this is the chocolate on the ice cream... I have no clue why either, it's not like there is a shortage of chocolate in this wonderful dessert but the chocolate on the ice cream is a bit too much. Luckily Daniel agrees with me and it's fairly easy to get off in one piece since its the kind that hardens when cooled... I know this was a random post but this deserves a special place in Kaylee's blog... I think she loves these things because everytime I eat one she moves up to the top of my stomach and goes crazy! So we are off to Chili's... I'm only going because it's what Kaylee wants... :)

I'm pregnant... I don't want to talk about it...

It's official... I'm done with being pregnant... but oddly enough I'm not in a hurry to go into labor. Now that I'm pretty much to the end of my pregnancy it's funny to look back at how I've dealt with the past 35 weeks. I have always been terrified of needles and hated going to the doctor for anything...and when I say terrified I'm not joking... last year when we signed up for a life insurance policy for Daniel I didn't want to take out a policy on myself because they require bloodwork to be done before approving your policy. So of course the first thing they did when I went to the doctor after finding out I was pregnant was draw blood... fantastic! When I got to the doctors office I was surprisingly ok with having bloodwork done... I figured, if I have a problem with this how am I going to get through the rest of the pregnancy? Over the past 35 weeks I have managed to get over my fear of needles... I finally got my insurance policy and even volunteered for optional tests during the pregnancy that required bloodwork. I have finally just learned to say 'it's whatever'... I haven't felt 'good' since probably last November and as the weeks go by I get increasingly more miserable... but whatever... there's nothing I can do about it so why stress? Little Kaylee has been very active since around 19 weeks and her kicks have continued to get stonger...there are times when she kicks me in the ribs and I feel a pop and extreme pain and wonder if anything is broken... that along with her sticking her butt out and stretching my stomach out further than it already is really doesn't help things. I also never knew that pregnancy could cause carpal tunnel. I started having signs of it around 31 weeks with my arms and hands feeling a little numb during the day. It has only continued to get worse... now it's to the point where I wake up in the morning with both arms and hands asleep with that pins and needles feeling all through my arms. Once I manage to get my hands and arms to wake up I can't go back to sleep because of the pain of laying on either shoulder... so my only option is to lean up against the headboard of the bed and try to fall asleep sitting up.

I have been having contractions for the past few days that seem to continue to get more frequent but once again, it's whatever... when she is ready to come out and I'm in some serious pain I'll go to the hospital... until then, I'm doing my best to ignore the contractions... heck, I've even tried to ignore being pregnant, lol. I feel like the nesting instinct should've kicked in by now but for some reason, it hasn't. I don't even make it upstairs most days anymore because my feet and ankles are so swollen that it hurts to go up and down the stairs... so instead I sit on the couch downstairs in the living room and make lists of all of the things that I need to get done before Kaylee is here... now if I could only get the energy to get everything done! I keep thinking to myself that I technically still have 5 weeks to take care of everything and that's plenty of time... but the problem is, I don't see her staying in there for another 5 weeks... and because of showing signs of pre-eclampsia I have been switched over to weekly doctor's appointments. I'm pretty much 1 high blood pressure reading away from being put on hospital bedrest... so whether I'm exhausted or not I've gotta get to work on that list!

Even with all of the uncomfortable side effects of being pregnant I feel very lucky to have had a healthy pregnancy so far and hope that these last few weeks go smooth with no problems. Before I got pregnant I knew I only wanted 1 child and over the past few months I have become even more sure of this, but even with all of my complaints it'll all be worth it once we have our little Kaylee!