The emotional rollercoaster...

I think I need to be checked into a mental institution... seriously... keeping up with my changing feelings is exhausting! Let me try to explain... one second I'm sitting on the couch feeling 'okay'... like I need to get stuff done around the house, excited about Kaylee coming soon and just trying to be productive... 5 seconds later I'm sitting on the couch thinking what have I done... I mean, there's a baby in there and it's going to have to come out... but I really don't want to have to go through all that pain... is it too late to change my mind??? At this point I usually start to panic but not to worry... a few minutes later... 'oh my gosh will this baby ever come out... everything hurts... I'm miserable... I don't care how bad labor pain is, I want her out of me!' So I pretty much have 3 moods: 1. excited 2. scared 3. miserable

And then there are the in between moods... like when I have contractions... I don't want to get excited because I figure it's not really labor so instead of being excited I'm irritated (note to uterus: either get the show on the road or stop making me get my hopes up). I also have those moments when I'm a emotional wreck... like tonight after walking around the mall we got back out to the car and I busted into tears. I manage to just hold it in most of the time but every now and then being constantly miserable just gets to me. Plus the fact that we go to the mall and there's nothing that I want doesn't help. I walk through stores and see clothes I like but of course, I'm pregnant, there's no point in buying clothes... most people are still able to at least buy shoes but I can't even do that because no shoe fits anymore.

I'm glad I've managed to make it to 37 weeks but so afraid of going past 40 weeks because I really don't think I can keep from completely going off the deep end for that long. It's nice to know that she could pretty much come at any time after 37 weeks and I keep trying to remind myself that I could be complaining one day about being pregnant and be holding little Kaylee the next. So now... I wait...