Now the countdown can begin.... NOT!!!

Back at 20 something weeks I kept looking forward to reaching the 30 week mark. I figured instead of counting down starting at 20 weeks when I reached half way I would wait until I could count down from 10 weeks... At 30 weeks I told myself 10 weeks is still too far away, I'll wait until I make it to 35 weeks and count down from 5 weeks. Of course, the 35 week mark came and I told myself... I still have over a month to go so I'll wait until 36 weeks when I only have a month left. At 36 weeks I thought 4 weeks was still quite a bit of time... I'll just wait until I have half a month left... 2 weeks shouldn't seem that long right? At 38 weeks last Friday I thought, well... thats still 14 more days... I'll wait until I have 10 days left and count down from there.

Well the day has come... I officially have 10 days left until my due date... can the countdown begin? NOPE! I don't know if I'm in denial or just saving myself from disappointment. If I start the countdown now, what happens when August 7th is here and I'm still pregnant? I'm so ready to get this over with but at the same time I keep putting off the reality that she is eventually going to come out of there. At 37 weeks I started thinking she could come out at anytime but then slowly told myself, don't worry... she probably won't come that early... so I figured that I'd wait until 38 weeks to start worrying about when I'm going to go into labor... I hit the 38 week mark last Friday and was a little concerned Saturday about going into labor when Daniel was out of town Sunday especially after having quite a few contractions since Friday night, but when I woke up Sunday morning I was still pregnant and figured who am I kidding... she isn't coming out of there anytime soon... I'll wait til 39 weeks to be paranoid... so in 3 days I'll be 39 weeks and will I at least allow myself to count down the last 7 days? Probably not...

I think my uterus is just playing games with me anyways... Friday night my contractions were like really bad cramps but they eventually went away overnight and when I woke up Saturday morning I didn't notice them until around lunch time. All day Saturday they kept getting stronger and I was noticing them more often... but of course, I went to sleep and woke up Sunday with nothing. I guess Sunday was it's day off because not too much happened... a few contractions in the afternoon but that was about it. Yesterday was back to the more consistant contractions that were getting more painful to where the pain was wrapping around from the lower part of my stomach all the way around through my lower back... but once again, I went to sleep and now I am awake again and nothing is happening. Just for all of that I'm not paying attention to the contractions anymore... so until I'm actually going into labor my body can just knock it off because it's just wasting its time!