Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The emotional rollercoaster...

I think I need to be checked into a mental institution... seriously... keeping up with my changing feelings is exhausting! Let me try to explain... one second I'm sitting on the couch feeling 'okay'... like I need to get stuff done around the house, excited about Kaylee coming soon and just trying to be productive... 5 seconds later I'm sitting on the couch thinking what have I done... I mean, there's a baby in there and it's going to have to come out... but I really don't want to have to go through all that pain... is it too late to change my mind??? At this point I usually start to panic but not to worry... a few minutes later... 'oh my gosh will this baby ever come out... everything hurts... I'm miserable... I don't care how bad labor pain is, I want her out of me!' So I pretty much have 3 moods: 1. excited 2. scared 3. miserable

And then there are the in between moods... like when I have contractions... I don't want to get excited because I figure it's not really labor so instead of being excited I'm irritated (note to uterus: either get the show on the road or stop making me get my hopes up). I also have those moments when I'm a emotional wreck... like tonight after walking around the mall we got back out to the car and I busted into tears. I manage to just hold it in most of the time but every now and then being constantly miserable just gets to me. Plus the fact that we go to the mall and there's nothing that I want doesn't help. I walk through stores and see clothes I like but of course, I'm pregnant, there's no point in buying clothes... most people are still able to at least buy shoes but I can't even do that because no shoe fits anymore.

I'm glad I've managed to make it to 37 weeks but so afraid of going past 40 weeks because I really don't think I can keep from completely going off the deep end for that long. It's nice to know that she could pretty much come at any time after 37 weeks and I keep trying to remind myself that I could be complaining one day about being pregnant and be holding little Kaylee the next. So now... I wait...


  1. Sending lots of hugs your way because I totally remember feeling this way right before Cam was born! I would burst into tears after going to the mall too because, well, I used to shop for clothes. For myself. ALL the time. The end is near though. :) And I was just as scared about the pain. But I made it through drug-free and if I can do it, anyone can! I'm a wimp! Especially with needles. :)

  2. Hi!

    Everything you are experiencing and feeling is totally normal! Once they put that darling baby in your arms you will forget all of the pain. I promise!

    Happy Saturday Sharefest!

  3. I just read your whole blog -- I'm in tears, such a beautiful thing having a baby... brought me right back, ALL the feelings, don't worry, they are exactly how you are supposed to feel. I am so happy for you and so excited. I can't wait for Kaylee (and what a great way to spell it) to be born -- I want pics!!

    Happy Saturday Sharefest!!

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