I'm pregnant... I don't want to talk about it...

It's official... I'm done with being pregnant... but oddly enough I'm not in a hurry to go into labor. Now that I'm pretty much to the end of my pregnancy it's funny to look back at how I've dealt with the past 35 weeks. I have always been terrified of needles and hated going to the doctor for anything...and when I say terrified I'm not joking... last year when we signed up for a life insurance policy for Daniel I didn't want to take out a policy on myself because they require bloodwork to be done before approving your policy. So of course the first thing they did when I went to the doctor after finding out I was pregnant was draw blood... fantastic! When I got to the doctors office I was surprisingly ok with having bloodwork done... I figured, if I have a problem with this how am I going to get through the rest of the pregnancy? Over the past 35 weeks I have managed to get over my fear of needles... I finally got my insurance policy and even volunteered for optional tests during the pregnancy that required bloodwork. I have finally just learned to say 'it's whatever'... I haven't felt 'good' since probably last November and as the weeks go by I get increasingly more miserable... but whatever... there's nothing I can do about it so why stress? Little Kaylee has been very active since around 19 weeks and her kicks have continued to get stonger...there are times when she kicks me in the ribs and I feel a pop and extreme pain and wonder if anything is broken... that along with her sticking her butt out and stretching my stomach out further than it already is really doesn't help things. I also never knew that pregnancy could cause carpal tunnel. I started having signs of it around 31 weeks with my arms and hands feeling a little numb during the day. It has only continued to get worse... now it's to the point where I wake up in the morning with both arms and hands asleep with that pins and needles feeling all through my arms. Once I manage to get my hands and arms to wake up I can't go back to sleep because of the pain of laying on either shoulder... so my only option is to lean up against the headboard of the bed and try to fall asleep sitting up.

I have been having contractions for the past few days that seem to continue to get more frequent but once again, it's whatever... when she is ready to come out and I'm in some serious pain I'll go to the hospital... until then, I'm doing my best to ignore the contractions... heck, I've even tried to ignore being pregnant, lol. I feel like the nesting instinct should've kicked in by now but for some reason, it hasn't. I don't even make it upstairs most days anymore because my feet and ankles are so swollen that it hurts to go up and down the stairs... so instead I sit on the couch downstairs in the living room and make lists of all of the things that I need to get done before Kaylee is here... now if I could only get the energy to get everything done! I keep thinking to myself that I technically still have 5 weeks to take care of everything and that's plenty of time... but the problem is, I don't see her staying in there for another 5 weeks... and because of showing signs of pre-eclampsia I have been switched over to weekly doctor's appointments. I'm pretty much 1 high blood pressure reading away from being put on hospital bedrest... so whether I'm exhausted or not I've gotta get to work on that list!

Even with all of the uncomfortable side effects of being pregnant I feel very lucky to have had a healthy pregnancy so far and hope that these last few weeks go smooth with no problems. Before I got pregnant I knew I only wanted 1 child and over the past few months I have become even more sure of this, but even with all of my complaints it'll all be worth it once we have our little Kaylee!